


blood guts and chocolate cake

by fir8008



Series: give the bruises out like gifts [4]
Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Slice of Life, but it's really just raunchy language, hongsoowoong are bffs, rated for excessive language and sexual references, rbw/starship housemates, there's basically no plot... but then random feelings happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 15:37:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12560624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fir8008/pseuds/fir8008
Summary: oh little ponyo: guys don’t tell anyone but i think gunmin seonbae broke dongmyeong’s legyeo spin my head right round: bruhoh little ponyo: wait a minuteeverygwang i shock: this is the group chat you foolchoi-ry bomb: rip sewoon(the HongSooWoong trio + RBW/Starship Dorm life slice of life chatfic no one asked for but I still wrote)





	blood guts and chocolate cake

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello! So this is kind of self-indulgent because I wanted to try a chatfic (props to those who can write chatfics with plot because I don't think this has much of a plot at all!) This is another come on skinny love prequel, taking place in the year and a half of uni life before the beginning of skinny love. I kind of planned for this to be about Hwanwoong's dorm life, but it ended up being more about Hwanwoong, Eunki, and Insoo's relationship (because i realized, when i lived in a dorm, we almost never used our group chat) 
> 
> Anyway, I thought this would just be in good fun and I didn't take myself or this fic too seriously. 
> 
> This is rated M for a truly excessive use of the word "dick" someone please (don't actually) count how many times I used the word "dick" it's too many. There is also referenced sexual situations and that just contributes to the M, but nothing is too explicit. 
> 
> Though I tried to make everyone's chat names obvious, here is a list for reference:  
> Hwanwoong: Yo Hwan Prude, yeo spin my head right round  
> Eunki: Pipe The Fuck Down 3  
> Insoo: Pipe The Fuck Down 1, I Am Disgusted, Just Disgusting  
> Jaewoo: choi-ry bomb  
> Gunmin: gongnamja  
> Geonhee: geonhee neomu yeppeo  
> Dongmyeong: everydong i shock  
> Sewoon: oh little ponyo  
> Gwanghyun: everygwang i shock 
> 
> Title comes from "Teen Idle" by Marina and the Diamonds
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!

[triple h(ell)]

Yo Hwan Prude: LISTEN 

Yo Hwan Prude: some fuckface in the dance dept asked me if i was homophobic 

Yo Hwan Prude: and i almost decked him 

Yo Hwan Prude: but then i realized

Yo Hwan Prude: i think he’s bi 

Yo Hwan Prude: so punching him could be interpreted as homophobic 

Yo Hwan Prude: ANYWAY 

Yo Hwan Prude: i asked him why he thought that and he said because he heard i was moving out because you two make disgusting sex noises 

Yo Hwan Prude: also whichever one of you spilled those beans when you were drunk WOW SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICKHEADS 

Yo Hwan Prude: SO I TOLD HIM I’M MOVING OUT TO MOVE IN WITH SIX OTHER GUYS

Yo Hwan Prude: ISN’T THAT GAYER 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1 sent a photo 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: hafhsfgsfhs

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: THAT WASN’T FOR HERE

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT

Yo Hwan Prude: Lee

Yo Hwan Prude: In

Yo Hwan Prude: Soo

Yo Hwan Prude: THAT IS A PICTURE OF YOUR PENIS WHAT THE FUCK 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: MY FINGER SLIPPED 

Yo Hwan Prude: WOW THAT’S WHAT I’M GOING TO SAY WHEN I CUT YOUR WIENER OFF 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: wow that’s homophobic 

Yo Hwan Prude: guygrgehslighrw

Yo Hwan Prude: EUNKI

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: think of it this way, at least it’s not diseased 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: and it’s not pierced 

Yo Hwan Prude: I’M GOING TO THROW UP 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: wow that’s homophobic 2

Yo Hwan Prude: @eunki this is your fault!! If you didn’t keep bringing home guys my eyes wouldn’t be assaulted by so many dicks all the time!

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: ??? me??

Yo Hwan Prude: Eunki

Yo Hwan Prude: you know I love you

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: gay 

Yo Hwan Prude: INSOO NO ONE FUCKING LIKES YOU 

Yo Hwan Prude: eunki I love you but please raise your standards 

Yo Hwan Prude: if you’re going to bring home guys who try sneaking out when I’m leaving for my morning class can they at least not be ugly?? I wish you would meet nicer looking guys

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i feel??? attacked???? wtf??? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: tldr hwanwoong thinks you’re a slut and you need to get better beer goggles 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: don’t talk to me Lee Insoo you have had sex with two people in your whole life and haven’t gotten laid in months. You’re just jealous

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: you heard him Yeo Hwanwoong don’t talk to Hong Eunki anymore because you’re a virgin and no one likes you

Yo Hwan Prude: on sight 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: ???

 

[triple h(ell)]

Pipe The Fuck Down 3 sent a photo

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: anyone want to share why Hwanwoong was trying to beat in Insoo’s face? 

Yo Hwan Prude: he was warned 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: WAIT

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: YOU WERE ABLE TO STOP AND TAKE A PICTURE 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: BUT YOU DIDN’T STOP AND HELP ME 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: nah I was running late to Kahi’s class 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i just didn’t know what was up 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1 sent a photo 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: LOOK AT MY FACE 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: WHAT IS MY BOYFRIEND GOING TO SAY 

Yo Hwan Prude: anything that happens to your face is an improvement 

Yo Hwan Prude: and your boyfriend never even sees your face your webcam is pointed at your dick 

Yo Hwan Prude: i’ve been in your room 

Yo Hwan Prude: i’ve seen your computer 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: shfnskehbdjrdjiht

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: WHY AM I BEING SLANDERED 

Yo Hwan Prude: you deserve it 

Yo Hwan Prude: and i hate you 

Yo Hwan Prude: i can’t wait to move out 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: then i guess you don’t need me to drive your stuff to your new apartment

Yo Hwan Prude: WAIT

Yo Hwan Prude: INSOO YOU’RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: too late, i’m off to send dick pics to my boyfriend 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: wow TMI 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i hate you all kenta is the only person who understands me 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i can’t wait to leave you both and live with him 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: am I the only person who doesn’t hate everyone? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: obviously 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: because you spread your legs for anyone 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: nevermind i hope you drown, hwanwoong’s still cool 

Yo Hwan Prude: nice 

 

[triple h(ell)]

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: who the fuck keeps rattling my doorknob 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: I’m trying to not fail Prof. Kwon’s history of modern dance final DO YOU FUCKING MIND 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: can someone hold me 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i’m lonely 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: sangbin spilled beer all over me 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: and then ditched me to go home with some random skank 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i hate campus parties 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i always regret agreeing to go to them

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: and i miss my boyfriend 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: can i hold you in like 30min i’m studying 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: yes 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: @hwanwoong i see where i stand with you 

Yo Hwan Prude: trying to not fail Prof. Shin’s music theory exam she’s scarier than Prof. Kwon

Yo Hwan Prude: and you didn’t try to break into my room so kiss my ass 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i don’t like short guys but i can hook you up with sangbin he’s always down to fuck

Yo Hwan Prude: i hate you goodbye i hope you die and fail all your classes 

Yo Hwan Prude: AND YOU’RE SHORT TOO YOU FUCKFACE 

Yo Hwan Prude: EUNKI DON’T HUG HIM LET HIM DIE FROM LACK OF AFFECTION 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: please don’t i really need to be held 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: IF YOU TWO DON’T STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE I’M NEVER GOING TO FINISH STUDYING SO I’LL JUST STRANGLE YOU BOTH AND I’LL HOLD YOUR DEAD BODIES 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: I’m kidding I’m really fucking stressed out if you shut up for half an hour I’ll hold you Insoo but I need to study 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: eunki is scary i want my boyfriend 

Yo Hwan Prude: stfu and study something dumbass 

 

[triple h(ell)]

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: ok so 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: please only answer yes or no

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: when i came home last night/this morning did i or did i not have my pants

Yo Hwan Prude: so many fucking questions

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: ANSWER YES OR NO 

Yo Hwan Prude: idk i was asleep when you came home

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i was shitfaced i couldn’t see my own reflection this morning 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: dammit 

Yo Hwan Prude: i have so many questions 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: don’t ask them 

 

[triple h(ell)]

Yo Hwan Prude: question of the day - did eunki find his pants? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: yes!! 

Yo Hwan Prude: why did they go missing? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: alcohol 

Yo Hwan Prude: fair enough 

 

[triple h(ell)]

Pipe The Fuck Down 3 sent a photo

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: whose shirt is this? 

Yo Hwan Prude sent a photo 

Yo Hwan Prude: this guy’s 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: kghsuhkndtruwh

Yo Hwan Prude: when i said raise your standards i didn’t mean sleep with people in the music department 

Yo Hwan Prude: i caught this guy sneaking out of the apartment this morning

Yo Hwan Prude: and thought he looked familiar 

Yo Hwan Prude: he sits a few rows behind me in Prof. Shin’s music theory class

Yo Hwan Prude: i think i made him shit bricks when he saw me in class

Yo Hwan Prude: eunki why 

Yo Hwan Prude: you came home without pants like three days ago 

Yo Hwan Prude: are you eating eel these days? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: stop attacking eunki like this

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: just because you can’t get a date 

Yo Hwan Prude: INSOO WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i asked me 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: insoo shut up 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i have been betrayed by hong eunki i will throw his moving out present out of our window then 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i call bullshit you would not buy presents 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i hate you both 

 

[triple h(ell)]

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: unhappy moving out day 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: let’s not meet anymore 

Yo Hwan Prude: not planning on it 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: won’t it be difficult to stop meeting if we all have class together? 

Yo Hwan Prude: this hyung is too sensitive i can hear him sniffling from here 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: good job hwanwoong you made eunki cry

Yo Hwan Prude: eat a bag of dicks you said let’s stop meeting 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i will happily keep meeting hong eunki along with the love of my life takada kenta to share custody of our stepson yoon jaechan 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: you on the other hand i do not wish to see anymore

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: but it will be easy to stop seeing you if i just don’t look down 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: what was that noise?? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: HWANWOONG JUST RAN INTO MY ROOM AND KICKED ME IN THE DICK 

Yo Hwan Prude: chat shit get hit 

 

[New Group Chat] 

Lee Gunmin added Yeo Hwanwoong, Lee Geonhee, Choi Jaewoo, Son Dongmyeong, Jeong Sewoon, and Lee Gwanghyun to the group. 

Lee Gunmin named the group “House Chat” 

Lee Gunmin: Happy Moving In Day!! 

Lee Gunmin: I hope we all get along <3 <3 <3 

 

[triple h(ell)]

Yo Hwan Prude: HELP ME GUNMIN HYUNG IS SENDING HEARTS IN MY NEW HOUSE GROUP CHAT I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: can’t relate 

 

[House Chat] 

Lee Gunmin: Hey guys!! 

Lee Gunmin: We should have dorm dinners together! We can take turns cooking! 

 

[House Chat] 

Lee Geonhee set Yeo Hwanwoong’s name to yeo spin my head right round 

Lee Geonhee set Choi Jaewoo’s name to choi-ry bomb 

Lee Geonhee set Son Dongmyeong’s name to everydong i shock 

Lee Geonhee set Lee Gwanghyun’s name to everygwang i shock 

Lee Geonhee set Jeong Sewoon’s name to oh little ponyo 

Lee Geonhee set his name to geonhee neomu yeppeo 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: you’re welcome 

yeo spin my head right round set Lee Gunmin’s name to gongnamja 

yeo spin my head right round changed the name of the group to House of Flying Balls 

yeo spin my head right round: now you’re welcome 

 

[House of Flying Balls]

gongnamja: ligsnshnbdutr

gongnamja: WHO CHANGED ALL THE STUFF 

gongnamja: WHO SET MY NAME TO “BALL MAN” 

gongnamja: WHAT IS HAPPENING 

gongnamja: I CAN SEE YOU ALL READ THE MESSAGE WHY ISN’T ANYONE ANSWERING ME 

oh little ponyo: i like the new names 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: see, someone likes it 

gongnamja: … 

gongnamja: Fine… 

 

[House of Flying Balls]

oh little ponyo: story time story time 

oh little ponyo: how did everyone meet gunmin seonbae? 

oh little ponyo: i’ll start, he hit me in the head with a volleyball 

gongnamja: YOU WALKED RIGHT ACROSS THE VOLLEYBALL COURT I WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM GETTING HIT 

oh little ponyo: yeah it was great, gunmin seonbae’s really nice i brought gwanghyun with me 

everygwang i shock: i didn’t need much convincing our last roommate was a fucking slob 

everygwang i shock: if you people don’t clean up after yourselves i’m moving out again 

yeo spin my head right round: gunmin hyung was the upperclassman leader of my freshman orientation group

yeo spin my head right round: he let us throw balls at him while he sang the school fight song

yeo spin my head right round: it was lit 

choi-ry bomb: does he do that for everyone? that’s how i met him too 

everydong i shock: same! 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: no, i met him in the student health center when i sprained my ankle 

gongnamja: We met before that! 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: oh wait no you took me to the student health center because i sprained my ankle when we were playing tennis last semester

gongnamja: We met before that too!!! 

gongnamja: We were in the same introduction to dance class! we talked a couple times 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: oh yeaaaahhh 

gongnamja: :(((((( 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Yo Hwan Prude: how is your new living situation 

Yo Hwan Prude: i think we make gunmin cry every day 

Yo Hwan Prude: he tried to impose a chore chart on us 

Yo Hwan Prude: we almost staged a rebellion 

Yo Hwan Prude: gwanghyun liked the idea, but he was sorely outvoted 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: Lee Gwanghyun that we went to high school with? 

Yo Hwan Prude: that’s the one 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: wow, small world 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: new apartment is great 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: junyoung and taehyun are great roommates 

Yo Hwan Prude: and Insoo? 

Yo Hwan Prude: is he taking let’s never meet again seriously? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: sorry was getting a blowjob 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: it’s 8am 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: the best time to get a blowjob 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: so goes without saying, new place is great 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: Kenta hasn’t dumped me for not putting my clothes in the hamper yet

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: where’d hwanwoong go? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i think your blowjob comment killed him

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: oh thank god he’s gone 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Yo Hwan Prude: I HATE YOU 

Yo Hwan Prude: you made me almost die 

Yo Hwan Prude: coffee came out of my nose 

Yo Hwan Prude: MY NOSE 

Yo Hwan Prude: i almost pissed my pants 

Yo Hwan Prude: and i got nose coffee all over my phone 

Yo Hwan Prude: i had to stick it in rice 

Yo Hwan Prude: rice that sewoon almost put into the rice cooker 

Yo Hwan Prude: PHONE AND ALL 

Yo Hwan Prude: please tell me you’re going to the halloween party the frat is hosting

Yo Hwan Prude: i can’t take it anymore i want to get wasted 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: literally wasn’t going to go but if the lightweight is going, i want to witness this 

Yo Hwan Prude: first of all

Yo Hwan Prude: die 

Yo Hwan Prude: second of all 

Yo Hwan Prude: you’re not great at drinking either 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: yeah but kenta is even worse at drinking than me so i have to take care of him 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: kenta weighs 2kg of course he can’t hold alcohol 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: don’t slander my man like that 

Yo Hwan Prude: eunki are you going 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: eunki is going 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: ???? don’t speak for me you troglodyte 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: who are you sleeping with to learn big words like that 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: anyway you’re going 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i am going, but i was going before you tried to force me to??? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: and there’s a guy in the literature department 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: we’re sort of dating?? it’s unclear 

Yo Hwan Prude: congrats on sort of trying to settle down 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i’ll be your wingman hwanwoong 

Yo Hwan Prude: insoo you know zero (0) girls 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: but i will meet girls tell them i’m gay and then point them towards you 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: what makes you think girls will approach you??? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: what kind of slander 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: it will work trust me 

 

[House of Flying Balls] 

yeo spin my head right round: hi i’m not hwanwoong i’m his friend but which one of you are going to come and peel this drunk fuckface off the floor of this club because i’m not doing it :))

gongnamja: shgsgjlrignbih

gongnamja: I’LL BE RIGHT THERE 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Yo Hwan Prude sent a photo 

Yo Hwan Prude: [fire emoji] [fire emoji] [fire emoji] 

Yo Hwan Prude: EUNKI WHO IS SHE 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: omg he took a fucking picture 

Yo Hwan Prude: EUNKI INTRODUCE ME 

Yo Hwan Prude: TELL HER SHE CAN STEP ON ME AND CALL ME HER BITCH 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: ????? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: first of all, no and eww

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: second of all, she’s not available 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: she and taehyun hyung are seeing each other? or at least sleeping together? 

Yo Hwan Prude: dammit 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: aren’t you super hungover? how are you yelling 

Yo Hwan Prude: i am, but gunmin got me soup and tons of water and also painkillers

Yo Hwan Prude: i feel bad for giving him a hard time, i’ll probably clean up for him later 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: that’s nice and all but i hate you 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: eunki you didn’t see it but this idiot and my boyfriend decided to see who could chug faster and kenta threw up all over me 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: hwanwoong is a terrible influence on my angel 

Yo Hwan Prude: your angel is a grown ass man

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: that noona you just asked about is older than kenta hyung

Yo Hwan Prude: ok but if that noona is ever available i will clear out my schedule to be her love slave 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: that’s really extreme 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: she’s a really nice noona, i don’t think she’s into that

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: hwanwoong is terrible™ 

Yo Hwan Prude: please go choke on your boyfriend’s dick 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: i will do that when he gets over his own hangover i swear i did not realize he was THAT bad at drinking 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: ...he’s adorable and he’s mine ...i love him

Yo Hwan Prude: cool, dude, don’t care 

Yo Hwan Prude: hey eunki did things get any clearer with that guy you were sort of seeing? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: yeah, that i was a one night stand 

Yo Hwan Prude: ouch 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: where does he live i’ll hit him with my car 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: it’s not a big deal 

Yo Hwan Prude: you liar i can hear you crying from here 

Yo Hwan Prude: you got emotional when insoo threatened to stop talking to us 

Yo Hwan Prude: and no one wants to talk to insoo anyway 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: HEY 

Yo Hwan Prude: if you come over someone will let you in and you can cry beside my bedridden form and i can comfort you

Yo Hwan Prude: because i bet insoo’s apartment smells like vomit 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: it does

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: ...i’ll come over a little later 

Yo Hwan Prude: ok hyung 

 

[House of Flying Balls]

choi-ry bomb: so out of curiosity, what led everyone to living here? 

choi-ry bomb: because gunmin posted on his social media that he was looking for roommates and that’s how i joined 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: ^^^^

everydong i shock: me too 

yeo spin my head right round: the hyung who was visiting me earlier, another friend, and i were living together but they were both moving out so i mentioned it to gunmin and he said he had space 

oh little ponyo: i heard about it from geonhee! And i told gwanghyun 

everygwang i shock: not gonna lie i was going to move out anyway because like i said our other roommate is a slob and i couldn’t take it anymore

everygwang i shock: so the timing was good 

gongnamja: All the other roommates graduated and the one who didn’t is on a year long study abroad in Hong Kong 

gongnamja: Anyway I’m happy we’re all living together now <3 <3 <3 

 

[triple h(ell)]

Yo Hwan Prude sent a photo 

Yo Hwan Prude: just when he was growing on me he had to start sending hearts again 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Pipe The Fuck Down 1: baby i’ve been thinking about your dick all day 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i just threw up in my mouth 

Yo Hwan Prude set Pipe The Fuck Down 1’s name to I Am Disgusted 

Yo Hwan Prude: have i said recently how much i hate insoo 

Yo Hwan Prude: well i hate insoo 

I Am Disgusted: THAT WAS CLEARLY NOT MEANT FOR EITHER OF YOU 

I Am Disgusted: WHY WOULD YOU THINK I MEANT THAT FOR YOU 

Yo Hwan Prude: WE DIDN’T BUT YOU SENT YOUR DIRTY SEXTS TO THE WRONG CHAT AGAIN DON’T YOU PAY ATTENTION WHAT IF YOU SENT A DICK PIC TO YOUR MOM 

I Am Disgusted: MY MOTHER GAVE BIRTH TO ME SHE KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE 

Yo Hwan Prude: YOU ARE DISGUSTING 

Yo Hwan Prude set I Am Disgusted’s name to Just Disgusting 

Just Disgusting: ISN’T THIS CHILDISH 

Yo Hwan Prude: NO 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i can’t believe you made me read the words “baby i’ve been thinking about your dick all day” with my own eyes 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: at ass o clock in the morning 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: how does kenta hyung live with you

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: he probably went to work like two hours ago and it’s already “all day”

Yo Hwan Prude: what a good question

Just Disgusting: JUST BECAUSE I AM IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP 

Just Disgusting: AND YOU TWO AREN’T 

Just Disgusting: DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN JUST ATTACK ME 

Yo Hwan Prude: attack you???? i had to unlock my phone to read that message!! 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: and i threw up a little when i read that!!! 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: if you want to rub your relationship in our faces can’t you at least do it in a not sexual way 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i’m not jealous of your sex life 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i still probably have more sex on average than you 

Just Disgusting: do you hear that hwanwoong my offer to hook you up with sangbin still stands

Yo Hwan Prude: i will come to your house in the middle of the night and kill you in your sleep and kenta will probably thank me 

Just Disgusting: i’m not going to listen to you when you’re having a napoleon complex episode 

Yo Hwan Prude: i’m going to run you over with your own car 

Just Digusting: if your short legs can reach the gas pedal 

Yo Hwan Prude: kbsrgibreihvkjfgbu

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: anyway i’m going to class bye!!! 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Just Disgusting sent a photo 

Just Disgusting: inquiring minds would like to know… 

Just Disgusting: is that our baby jaechannie on a date? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: are you stalking our son if he is on a date?? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: also, how should i know? and that’s a picture of their backs 

Just Disgusting sent a photo 

Just Disgusting: is that kim donghan??? with MY baby????

Just Disgusting: who is going to tell kim taedong his best friends are on a date with each other 

Just Disgusting: not me, i can’t fight kim donghan, donghan could kick my whole ass 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: yes that’s kim donghan why would you fight him

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: they’re not dating, jaechannie told me they just hang out a lot 

Just Disgusting: yeah they hang out and touch each other’s wieners 

Yo Hwan Prude: i just gagged 

Just Disgusting: on a dick? 

Yo Hwan Prude: yeah your boyfriend’s 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: insoo that’s gross 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: jaechannie is not dating i just asked him 

Just Disgusting: GO NEAR MY BOYFRIEND’S DICK AND I WILL CHOP YOURS OFF AND FEED IT TO YOU 

Yo Hwan Prude: insoo i am straight 

Yo Hwan Prude: i do not want your boyfriend’s dick anywhere near me 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: LET’S STOP TALKING ABOUT DICKS 

Just Disgusting: who are you and what have you done with hong eunki 

Yo Hwan Prude: oh shit 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: YOU ARE A MENACE TO SOCIETY 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3 sent a photo 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: ANYWAY I ASKED MY SON IF HE WAS SEEING ANYONE AND HE SAID NO

Just Disgusting: thanks mom i can read 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: what inquiring mind asked anyway 

Just Disgusting: that’s a secret

Yo Hwan Prude: calling bullshit 

Just Disgusting: a person who i would not let date our baby 

Yo Hwan Prude: [eyes emoji] bullshit artist 

Just Disgusting: I LITERALLY JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD TO KICK THIS GUY’S ASS OR IF JAECHANNIE HAD A BOYFRIEND WHO COULD DO IT INSTEAD 

Just Disgusting: I HAVE STANDARDS I WOULD NOT LET OUR BABY DATE ANY BUM ON THE STREET 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i question that 

Just Disgusting: I WOULD NOT LET THE LIKES OF THAT PERSON DATE OUR BABY

Just Disgusting: I WOULD NOT PUT OUR BABY THROUGH THAT 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: who the hell are you vagueing 

Just Disgusting: not donghan but IT’S A SECRET 

Yo Hwan Prude: professional bullshit artist for hire

Just Disgusting: hwanwoong do something useful and go suck a dick 

Yo Hwan Prude: yes your boyfriend’s 

Just Disgusting: IF YOU BREATHE NEAR KENTA ONCE I WILL END YOUR SORRY EXISTENCE 

Yo Hwan Prude: please do it 

Yo Hwan Prude: if you kill me soon enough i won’t have to take seokhoon’s vocal practical 

Yo Hwan Prude: he made a kid cry last week 

Yo Hwan Prude: i don’t want to be next 

 

[House of Flying Balls] 

oh little ponyo: guys don’t tell anyone but i think gunmin seonbae broke dongmyeong’s leg 

yeo spin my head right round: bruh 

oh little ponyo: wait a minute 

everygwang i shock: this is the group chat you fool 

choi-ry bomb: rip sewoon 

choi-ry bomb: nice knowing you dude 

choi-ry bomb: will miss our instrumental jam sessions 

gongnamja: EXCUSE ME 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: oh no i have to go and leave the apartment 

choi-ry bomb: suddenly i am very busy 

everygwang i shock: sorry my dude but you’re on your own 

gongnamja: I DID NOT BREAK DONGMYEONG’S LEG 

gongnamja: DONGMYEONG BROKE DONGMYEONG’S LEG

gongnamja: BY INSISTING ON DOING CALISTHENICS ON A WET FLOOR 

gongnamja: AND FALLING WRONG 

gongnamja: IS IT MY FAULT THAT DONGMYEONG HAS TO DO CALISTHENICS EVERYWHERE HE GOES 

yeo spin my head right round: yeah 

yeo spin my head right round: you’re the mat-hyung 

yeo spin my head right round: take responsibility [eyes emoji] 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: ignore him, gunmin hyung, hwanwoong just has a death wish 

everygwang i shock: what was that sound???? am terrified to leave room 

oh little ponyo: gunmin just kicked a soccer ball straight at hwanwoong! 

oh little ponyo: hwanwoongie is crying!!

oh little ponyo: do we have to go back to the hospital?

oh little ponyo: i think he died 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: it’s what he deserves 

everydong i shock: guyssssss someone keep me company i’m boooooored 

choi-ry bomb: coming dongmyeong 

geonhee neomu yeppeo: wow guys can you believe hwanwoong died for sewoon’s sins 

everygwang i shock: it’s how he wanted to go out 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Just Disgusting sent a photo 

Just Disgusting: and who is that fine ass tall man leaving your apartment this morning 

Just Disgusting: 6/5 would bang if single 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: are you seriously creeping outside my apartment right now? 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: also that’s taehyun hyung’s friend, i have boundaries, don’t be gross

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: he literally came over asking if taehyun stole his toaster

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: WHO DOES THAT 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: and taehyun apparently knew who stole the toaster 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: so now he’s off to go apprehend the toaster thief 

Just Disgusting: a thrilling saga 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: if you’re not here to drive me to campus shut the fuck up 

Just Disgusting: well damn calm down 

 

[House of Flying Balls] 

gongnamja: Jaewoo and I going to the mart does anyone need anything not on the grocery list? 

yeo spin my head right round: nope, nothing extra, thanks for making the grocery run 

everydong i shock: did i put banana milk on the list? 

choi-ry bomb: yeah, like three times 

everydong i shock: well it’s really important 

gongnamja: If that’s all we’re leaving!! Be back soon! <3 <3 

oh little ponyo: wait are we out of pickled radish??? 

everygwang i shock: for fucks sake hyung 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Just Disgusting: can i crash at someone’s place 

Yo Hwan Prude: ??? you have your own apartment 

Just Disgusting: i don’t feel like going to my place 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: what’s wrong? 

Just Disgusting: nothing 

Just Disgusting: whatever i’ll text sangbin and ask him 

Just Disgusting: forget it

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: no no no no no no no 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: it’s fine if you come over 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: but what’s wrong 

Just Disgusting: nothing, i said 

Just Disgusting: it’s fine, whatever, it’s not a big deal 

 

[Direct Message from Yeo Hwanwoong to Hong Eunki] 

Yeo Hwanwoong: i don’t mean to be an insensitive asshole 

Yeo Hwanwoong: but can you handle the insoo situation? 

Yeo Hwanwoong: because i have no idea what to do 

Hong Eunki: yeah, no problem 

Yeo Hwanwoong: oh dammit he sent an essay to the group chat send help 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Just Disgusting: it’s just like you know kenta and i fight about little things because it’s our first time living together and it’s just the two of us and before i was with you guys and kenta lived by himself so we’re naturally going to argue about stuff but that’s normal right? like my parents used to argue about stuff all the time! but there’s this guy at kenta’s job and they’re really close and i just get??? worried??? like i don’t really think he would cheat on me but i get it into my head and it won’t get out??? and i told that guy that kenta and i were dating and you know, back off, but kenta heard me because i was kind of yelling and he got really mad at me and he said i was embarrassing him and we had a huge fight when we got home but then i thought we were fine because kenta told me he wasn’t looking for anyone else and he loved me and i know it’s my fault because i’m possessive and i own that but he got mad at me when i gave him a hickey and told him i just wanted people to know he was taken and we had another argument and i just feel really shitty and it must be really embarrassing for him to date me because i’m so much younger than him and i’m immature and stupid and this is why things don’t work out for me 

Just Disgusting: whatever just ignore me it’s not important 

Just Disgusting: i’m just being stupid 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: you’re coming over right away i’ll force junyoung to bake cookies 

 

[Direct Message from Yeo Hwanwoong to Hong Eunki] 

Yeo Hwanwoong: is insoo ok? 

Hong Eunki: yeah, he’s ok, he went home a little while ago 

Yeo Hwanwoong: i’m sorry i can’t be more helpful, it must be a lot that insoo’s always dumping out all his feelings on you 

Yeo Hwanwoong: but i just don’t know the right thing to say?? i feel like i’ll just make it worse

Hong Eunki: no, it’s totally fine 

Hong Eunki: i don’t want you to feel like we’re excluding you, but i guess?? insoo and i just get each other?? i don’t know, high school was a lot, we went through a lot together. and i know you were there too, no matter what insoo says he’s really glad we’re all friends, so am i

Yeo Hwanwoong: no, i understand there must be things i can’t understand 

Yeo Hwanwoong: i know i’m out of the loop because i get along with my parents and i don’t have to deal with the whole my parents are mad at me because i’m gay thing or they don’t support my dreams

Yeo Hwanwoong: i just don’t want insoo to think i don’t care?? i do care i just have no clue how to express this

Yeo Hwanwoong: or you, i don’t want you to think i don’t care, because i do really care

Hong Eunki: i know you do, insoo does too

Hong Eunki: it’s ok if you don’t know what to say

Hong Eunki: insoo is just a great big softie, he’s really sensitive 

Hong Eunki: i think he honestly would prefer if you didn’t try to be emotionally available, he would think you were being weird and would just clam up 

Hong Eunki: he appreciates you for being yourself 

Yeo Hwanwoong: are you calling me a dick

Hong Eunki: if that’s what you took away from this then that’s your answer 

Yeo Hwanwoong: kidding kidding i appreciate it eunki 

Yeo Hwanwoong: i think i’m just allergic to feelings 

Hong Eunki: there are worse things to be allergic to 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Just Disgusting: have i ever told you

Just Disgusting: that sex when you’re pissed off is amazing? 

Just Disgusting: i’ve never had my ass handed to me like that 

Yo Hwan Prude: i’m going to barf but i guess you’re back to normal 

Just Disgusting: kenta might look sweet and delicate 

Yo Hwan Prude: I DON’T WANNA KNOW 

Just Disgusting: but he can FUCK ME SO HARD 

Yo Hwan Prude: EUNKI HELP ME 

Yo Hwan Prude: EUNKI 

 

[triple h(ell)]

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: what i was taking a midterm wtf do you want 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: omg i scrolled up and read the messages ewww

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i didn’t need to know that about kenta thanks 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: eww eww eww i have to go to my next class i hate you both 

 

[House of Flying Balls] 

gongnamja: Is everyone done with their midterms? 

everydong i shock: yes!

geonhee neomu yeppeo: jaewoo and i have our last one in a couple hours 

choi-ry bomb: prof shin’s advanced music theory pls pray 

everygwang i shock: just finished my last one 

yeo spin my head right round: i’m done too

oh little ponyo: me too me too 

gongnamja: We should go out for barbecue and karaoke when everyone is done!! 

gongnamja: It’ll be tons of fun!

choi-ry bomb: if we live, we’ll be there

geonhee neomu yeppeo: seconded 

everydong i shock: yaaay! let’s go! 

everygwang i shock: i’m down 

yeo spin my head right round: me too! 

 

[triple h(ell)] 

Yo Hwan Prude: EUNKI

Yo Hwan Prude: WHY ARE YOU MEETING PRETTY GIRLS 

Yo Hwan Prude: WHY AREN’T YOU BRINGING ME TO MEET PRETTY GIRLS 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: why are you eating barbecue without inviting me?

Yo Hwan Prude: DORM PARTY 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: taehyun hyung’s friend’s dance academy’s showcase 

Yo Hwan Prude: that sentence is more possessive than insoo 

Just Disgusting: HERE I AM MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS FOR ONCE 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: yeah for once 

Just Disgusting: i am laying on my couch with my boyfriend sleeping on me and i am being slandered yet again 

Yo Hwan Prude: anyway if it’s such a big deal we’ll just go eat barbecue another time 

Yo Hwan Prude: and you can introduce me to pretty girls 

Just Disgusting: please do it i want to watch hwanwoong strike out with girls way out of his league 

Yo Hwan Prude: you are cordially uninvited to the barbecue 

Just Disgusting: so you’re taking eunki out on a barbecue date 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: i can’t introduce you to pretty girls they’re all noonas i barely know and i don’t want to introduce you to them

Yo Hwan Prude: this is why we can’t live together 

Just Disgusting: anyway barbecue i’m down 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: same 

Yo Hwan Prude: well ok then 

Yo Hwan Prude: the place gunmin hyung took us was really nice 

Just Disgusting: post the link to a menu so i can think about what i want now 

Just Disgusting: i’m hungry 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: this weekend? 

Just Disgusting: oh hell yes 

Yo Hwan Prude: ok ok ok 

Pipe The Fuck Down 3: nice see you then, guys :)

**Author's Note:**

> cheap ending is cheap [eyes emoji]
> 
> anyway, you can follow me on twitter @jy_kim8008 where i sometimes post teasers of my wips! (i gave lots of sneak peeks for this one)


End file.
